Monster Spray – Why I Never Recommend It
UPDATE: ALLISON RECORDED A PODCAST EPISODE ON THIS TOPIC IN 2022. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO 3 POPULAR APPROACHES TO MONSTER FEARS THAT I DON’T RECOMMEND.
There are MANY creative recommendations out there for navigating monster fears. “Monster Spray” is a very popular one… and it’s the one that frustrates me the most.
If you’re not familiar with Monster Spray, the idea is that you take a spray bottle, fill it with water and tell your child it’s “Monster Spray.” You spray it in your child’s room and tell them that this special spray keeps the monsters away. No need for them to worry, right? Wrong.
The problem with monster spray is that the whole concept validates the terrifying idea that monsters could actually be in your child’s room. If you’re talking to your child about using monster spray, that’s sending the message that monsters do exist and you need this spray to keep them away. Even if you’re telling your child that monsters aren’t real, you’re putting that into question by using monster spray. They have zero reason to believe that monsters aren’t real because… well, you’re spraying for monsters.
Helping Your Child Get Past Monster Fears
When navigating fears related to the imagination, the truth is the best way to ease your child’s fear and anxiety. Rather than using monster spray, looking under the bed or in the closet to confirm there are no monsters, or adding extra night lights to keep the monsters away, I want to encourage you to do three things.
- Acknowledge their feelings.
- Tell them the truth.
- Give them a tool to help them work through their fear or anxiety.
Can it be that easy? Yes!
Here’s an example of what you could say:
Your child: “But mommy, I’m scared that a monster is going to come in my room!”
You: “I understand you feel worried right now, but I have very good news for you. Monsters aren’t real! It would be impossible for a monster to be in your room because monsters are only in our imagination. You are always safe in your room. Do you know what I like to do when I get worried? I like to think about something I love. For example, I like to think about our trips to the beach. I love playing on the beach with you! What’s something you can think about when you’re worried?” Once they give you an example you can say, “That’s awesome! So whenever you start to feel worried, just hug your lovey and think about playing at the park with your friends. That way you can go to sleep thinking about happy things.”
Give honesty a try and through the process remind yourself that your child is safe in their room. If you’re calm and confident, they will pick up on your energy and will start to feel more calm and confident.
Learn all about how to help your 2.5-6 year old move past bedtime and nighttime fears in my Your Preschool Sleep Program. CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE.