Reducing Your Preschooler’s Bedtime Resistance

If you’re dealing with a lot of bedtime resistance from your preschooler, it can be very intimidating to think about changing things up.

How do you stop the extra book requests, demands for more water, or your child insisting you cuddle with them until they fall asleep? The key to a new normal is having a plan and sharing the plan with your child.

How you deliver the new expectations is incredibly important. Preschoolers aren’t fans of surprises. I mean who really likes to be surprised with change you haven’t been seeking?

It’s only fair that your child understands what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. NO surprises.

Steps To Reducing Bedtime Resistance

1. Decide On A Plan. The first step is deciding on the bedtime routine you want. Example: Put on PJs, brush teeth, read two books, cuddle for 2 minutes, and then go to sleep.
2. Share The Plan. The afternoon before you plan to start making this dreamy bedtime routine a reality, tell your child about the new plan. Deliver the news with an upbeat attitude, but remember that this is not a negotiation. You and your child are on the same team, but you are the team captain. “Good news! Mommy and daddy have a new plan to make bedtime happier and easier for everyone. This is the routine we are going to follow….”
3. Address The Anticipated Resistance. Let your child know what you’re NOT going to do. If your little one is always asking for extra books, you’ll say, “Starting tonight, we’re only going to read two books. If there are other books you’d like to read, I’d love to read them to you in the morning, but at bedtime we are only going to read two books.”
4. Follow Through To Build Trust. Now that you’ve shared how the bedtime routine will go, it’s on you to follow through on that routine. If your child gets upset that you are no longer giving in to their extra requests, don’t get mad, but do stay firm. If your child throws a fit, remind yourself that the only thing you are doing is following through on what you told them. What your child is learning in that moment is that you mean what you say and they can trust what you tell them. This follow through is what ultimately builds their confidence around bedtime and their trust in your word.

If you’re struggling with a child who wants you to cuddle with them until they fall asleep there are several effective ways to build their confidence around falling asleep on their own, one being a bedtime pass. Click here to read more on the bedtime pass.

If you aren’t currently using a toddler clock, I highly recommend introducing one as you make these adjustments. Click here to read why I think every 2-6 year old should have a toddler clock. I do want to note that my current favorite toddler clock system is the Hatch as it can be set to red for sleep which is the color least likely to interrupt the release of melatonin.

To hear me go into more detail on successful bedtime routines, listen to my discussion with Wendy Bertagnole.

Prepping our preschoolers for a change is the critical first step and then our abilities to follow through on our own plan is equally important. Decide on your plan and remember to be confident as you guide your child through the routine. You got this!