How 10 Minutes a Day Can Make Bedtime Struggles Go Away

If you have a preschooler, you’ve likely experienced some bedtime struggles from time to time (or on a regular basis). The first thing I always encourage parents to focus on is consistency. If you haven’t be consistent with your child’s bedtime routine, start there.

But, what do you do when you’ve been consistent with the bedtime routine and there are suddenly new unexplainable struggles each night?

Here’s a little secret about me. I am all about a professional giving me the proper tools I need to improve the quality of life in my home. So when our daughter Addison started throwing fits last year that didn’t make sense to me, I contacted a child behaviorists to talk through things with me because I needed some “tools.”

The first two things she noted were that I work full-time and my children are very close in age. She said it’s likely that Addison was trying to get my attention and it wasn’t about whether it was good or bad, she just wanted my undivided attention. She recommended that I spend 10-20 minutes a day having “special time” with Addison.

Could it be that easy? It was. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t even do it everyday because there were times during the week when it just couldn’t happen… you know I wouldn’t do anything that would result in a late bedtime. But I did make it a priority on the weekends and as often as I could during the week. It was a game changer. The tantrums and outbursts during the day reduced significantly!

I soon started recommending this 1-on-1 special time to clients who had unexplained bedtime struggles, particularly if both parents worked or if there was a younger sibling. Partnered with consistency, it works like a charm!

So what exactly do you do?

Tell your child that you have 15 minutes (20 is ideal, 10 is minimum) and you want some special time just with them. This won’t include the other parent or any siblings – just you and your child. Ask them what they’d like to do – this could be a puzzle, reading a book, doing a little art project together, playing outside, etc. During those 10-20 minutes, you will give your absolute undivided attention to your child. That’s it. That’s all you need to do. In an ideal world, each parent is having regular special time with each of their children daily, but as with most things related to parenting, we just gotta do the best we can.

Try it!