The Pacifier: To Use or Not to Use and How to Make It Go Away

If you’ve introduced a pacifier to your little one, chances are you almost immediately started to wonder how you were ever going to get rid of it. I’m going to share the best times and easiest strategies. (Affiliate links below) 

Many parents have a love-hate relationship with the pacifier and I often get asked for my recommendations on dealing with pacifiers. Should you give your baby a pacifier and how and when should you get rid of the pacifier are the most common questions. Here are my thoughts:

• The AAP Safe Sleep Recommendations suggest offering a pacifier at nap time and bedtime. It’s still unclear why, but they believe it helps reduce the incidence of SIDS, even if the pacifier falls out of the infant’s mouth. If there is a chance it reduces the risk for SIDS, I’m all for it. Offer your infant a pacifier.
• If you can, try not to make a habit of always popping the pacifier back in the second your baby makes a peep or stirs while sleeping. Use it when needed, but remember that it’s a slippery slope when you start rushing in to put the pacifier in the second your baby makes a squeak (imagine doing this hourly all night long).
• Once your baby reaches 4 months (from their due date), I recommend stopping the “pacifier pop” if you have gotten into the habit of popping it back in during the night or during naps. Put it in their mouth when you put them down for the night, after a nighttime feeding, and at the beginning of naps, but not during the night or nap. Until they learn to put it back in on their own, they may have some fussy nights, but they will get the hang of it.

When and how to breakup with the pacifier:

• There are two ideal times to breakup with the pacifier. If you really just want the pacifier to go away, you can take it away when you’re doing formal sleep training after 4 months. If you’re not opposed to keeping it, I recommend a partial breakup when your child turns 2 and a permanent breakup when your child turns 3.
• To breakup with it around 4 months, you just stop giving it to them and hang in there while they adjust to self-soothing without the pacifier.
• The partial breakup at 2 years old consists of limiting the pacifier to use in the crib (and maybe the car if they are a challenging car passenger). I suggest prepping your little one for this 1 month in advance. Periodically say, “When you turn 2 the pacifier is only for the crib and the car because you’re becoming a big girl/boy. Woohoo!” If you’re upbeat about this and give them plenty of time to adjust to the idea, you will be amazed at how quickly they adjust. The moment they turn 2 years old, follow through and each morning have them take it out and leave it in the crib. The full breakup should be done by 3 years of age. With this permanent breakup, I suggest prepping 2-3 months in advance by saying, “You’re almost 3 years old. When you turn 3, the paci goes in the trashy because you’re a big girl/boy!” There are several books and I’m sure many will work with helping to encourage this – my personal favorite is this simple book about saying goodbye to the pacifier. On your little one’s 3^rd birthday, let them throw all of the pacifiers in the trash and celebrate!