Drowsy But Awake – What? When? How?

Learning how to put your baby down drowsy but awake is truly the best tool you have when it comes to getting our little ones sleeping for longer stretches. It’s not always as easy as it sounds though, so I’m sharing what it means, when to do it, how to do it. 

drowsy but awakeIf you’re a new mom or have an infant who currently nurses or bottle feeds to sleep, you’ve likely heard that the trick to improving your baby’s nighttime sleep or lengthening their naps is putting them down “drowsy but awake.”

This is good advice and I give it to virtually all the families I work with. A lot of the parents I work with, however, tell me that they don’t really understand how to teach their baby to be fine with being put down awake. “Drowsy but awake” has become one of these concepts that just gets thrown around as if everyone knows what it means and how to do it.

For those of you who have been wondering what the heck “drowsy but awake” means, how the heck you’re supposed to teach your baby to go to sleep that way, or when you’re supposed to teach your baby this magical skill, today I’m going to break it down for you.

Below are the 4 most common questions I get asked when it comes to “drowsy but awake.”

What does drowsy but awake mean?

Putting your baby down drowsy but awake means you’re putting your little one down in their crib in a very relaxed state, but they are still awake and fairly alert. You want them to be aware that you are putting them down in the crib.

Why is it so important that my baby learn to go down drowsy but awake?

The key word here is awake. As your baby matures and you’re aiming for a full night of sleep and consistent hour+ long naps, it’s important that your little one knows where they are when they fall asleep.

If your little one is aware that they are in the crib when they are falling asleep, everything will look, sound, and feel the same when they wake up. There will be no surprises and they won’t be confused or feel tricked when they wake up during the night or one sleep cycle into a nap.

Imagine falling asleep in the car and waking up in a bed with no memory of how you got there. You’d obviously be startled upon waking and then you’d quickly start trying to recall what you missed, which would bring you to a very alert state. This alert state is what you want to avoid when you want your little one to learn that they can put themselves back to sleep when they wake during the night.

If your little one wakes up during the night, or 30-45 minutes into their nap, and everything is exactly the same as they remember it being when they fell asleep, they are much more likely to put themselves back to sleep rather than crying for you to come back to get things back to the way they remember. This is why drowsy but awake is such a key piece to the puzzle when you are trying to teach your baby to sleep for longer stretches during or through the night and working on lengthening naps.

How do I get my baby to this drowsy but awake state?

Before each sleep period, you should do the bedtime or nap time soothing routine you’ve chosen (i.e. bath, nursing, book, and a song). For a baby who is used to going down awake, this is enough to let their body know it’s time to go to sleep.

If your baby is under 4 months, or not used to going into their crib awake, a bedtime routine like the one I mentioned above may not be enough to get your little one “drowsy.” In that case, you’ll finish the routine and do what you’d normally do (other than nursing or bottle feeding) to put your little one down. This is most likely rocking or walking around.

Let’s say it’s rocking. You’ll do the rocking in the room your baby will be sleeping in, but rather than holding your baby until they fall asleep, you’ll rock them until you feel their body relax (cozy in) and you see the first sign of their eyelids getting heavy. That’s when you put them down – when they are starting to feel pulled towards sleep, but their eyes haven’t closed yet. 

Extra Tip: If you have a baby under 12 weeks and you haven’t been swaddling, I highly recommend it. I found this swaddle to be extremely easy to use and effective at keeping the arms in and staying on properly.

When should I start focusing on putting my baby down drowsy but awake?

Around 6 weeks your little one will start smiling and become more aware of their surroundings. This is when they will start to develop sleep associations so it’s the ideal time to start practicing putting your baby down drowsy but awake.

Notice my emphasis on the word practicing. Keep that word in mind as you get started. Don’t expect your baby to suddenly know how to fall asleep on their own. It takes consistent practice. Start by just working on putting your little one down drowsy but awake for 1 or 2 sleep periods a day. Once you and your little one start to get the hang of it, add in another nap.

The goal would be to get your little one falling asleep from a drowsy but awake state at least 2x a day when they hit 12 weeks. At 16 weeks, you ideally have them falling asleep on their own the majority of the time.

Struggling with Drowsy But Awake? Check out my troubleshooting post: Drowsy But Awake: What To Do When It Isn’t Working


Interested in learning more about newborn sleep? Download my free pdf: 5 Common Mistakes That Can Undermine Your Newborn’s Sleep


 

 

41 Comments

  1. Lora on October 20, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    This does not help my little one to stay asleep. He goes down and wakes up 10-20min and thinks he’s had his sleep. Does not work. What am I doing wrong?

    • Allison Egidi on December 4, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      That short nap is normal when you’re first getting started. After the short nap you can rock him back to sleep to lengthen it, but keep practicing in the crib and the nap will lengthen.

  2. Grace on October 20, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Hi there! I have a 6 week old and have been practicing drowsy but awake. Most times I get him drowsy but then when I put him down he’s wide awake again. I will leave room to see if he can get drowsy by himself and put himself to sleep, but he will lay awake but quiet for sometimes 45 min! Then he will eventually start to cry so I will soothe him back to sleep. That 45 min seems to be cutting into naptime. And with him being awake too long now he’s overtired. Should I limit how long for him to be awake in there? I have been doing all other nap and bedtime routines – sing song, swaddle, darkened room, white noise. I’ve also tried the shush-Pat method to calm him while laying there, which only works sometimes. Any advice is appreciated!!

  3. KRista on December 4, 2017 at 9:34 am

    But what about when you get baby to the drowsy point but when laid down she wakes within minutes and cries for help?! My baby is 8 weeks and we’ve been working on this for a week now we first nap and bedtime. I go shush/pat when she starts crying but all I get is a wide eyed overtired baby who will only resettle in my arms – or on bad days – in the swing.

    • Allison Egidi on December 4, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      Stay the course Krista! Continue practicing and you’ll be amazed that suddenly she’ll take a 20 minute first nap in the crib, then 30 min, etc. I know it can be frustrating, but keep practicing and she’ll get it.

  4. Frencesca on January 16, 2018 at 3:15 am

    Should I let my baby cry in the crib? He is 16 weeks old so we are starting this a little later but when I lay him in the crib drowsy but awake, he gets right up and cries. I’ve tried shushing and patting him in the crib but he doesn’t fall asleep and needs me to pick him up. Any suggestions?

    • Allison Egidi on January 18, 2018 at 10:10 am

      Since you are starting a bit late, you might want to try using the pick up, put down method along with drowsy but awake. Hope that helps!

  5. Hazel on October 11, 2018 at 3:27 am

    Hi.
    I find your article very useful.

    But I’m still not sure how to get started.

    I have a 12-13 weeks old with me.
    2 weeks ago, she has started having problems sleeping.
    Her naps are less than 40 mins. Rarely go to an hour or beyond.
    And after getting her to sleep (which takes a long time. Usually half hour or longer), she is wakes immediately when I put her down and will not go to sleep. It’s like sleep time is over and she starts wailing.

    So if I put her down asleep and she doesn’t even sleep, is it realistic to expect her to sleep in cot when she is drowsy??
    And if she wakes when I put her down, is that considered the drowsy state that we are talking about and I can work from there??

    She is constantly in an overtired state right now from the short naps and frequent wakings at night.
    I’m worried that all this will make it worse. Though I thinking that worse maybe needed before it gets better

    • Allison Egidi on October 27, 2018 at 7:24 am

      You definitely want to start putting her down awake. That will help you avoid her waking and then not wanting to go back down. If she’s overtired focus on VERY short wake periods between naps – start trying to work on putting her down awake 45 minutes after she wakes from her last nap. Hang in there!

  6. Ruth on October 26, 2018 at 6:20 pm

    We started doing this around 9 weeks when we could visibly notice that our baby giving us cues that she was sleepy without just crying. I would see her yawn, wait for a second one (this was usually after an hour of being awake), begin tell her it was nap time, swaddle her, hold her for a minute or just long enough for her to be relaxed and calm, turn on the white noise, and put her down. She pretty much did the rest and fell asleep while staring at the ceiling or who knows what.

    It does work and she progressively increased her night sleep once we started this. I think the important thing is that you have to be able to read their cues for being sleepy. If you miss it and go too long, you’ll probably have to do some rocking to calm them back down to that relaxed and ready phase.

    • Allison Egidi on October 27, 2018 at 7:22 am

      So glad it worked for you! Totally agree that catching them before they are overtired is very important! 🙂

  7. Sarah Cooper on February 9, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Great articles! Super helpful! I have a 7 week old. We are practicing the first nap of the day, sleepy but drowsy. He is swaddled but has his arms free (swaddled below the arms). He has started to roll over and routinely falls asleep with his arms above his head. When we initially swaddled him in the hospital he would work to break free with his hands and then put them above his head (hence why we have his arms free). He will sleep like a champ in your arms for 2.5 hours but if you put him down in the bassinet he either immediately wakes up or wakes up after 10 minutes. Any other suggestions besides stay the course to help with the putting down transition/getting him to sleep not in your arms?

    • Allison Egidi on February 10, 2019 at 8:11 am

      Congrats on your new baby! He’s at a great age for you to start helping him learn to fall asleep without being held which is the best way to get longer naps when he is in his bassinet. Just practice once a day and be patient. Short wake periods can be helpful as you practice drowsy but awake. Enrollment for my newborn sleep course and coaching program is open now if you’re interested. You can join the list through this page: https://sleepandwellnesscoach.mykajabi.com/HBNS-Early-Interest

  8. Ady on February 19, 2019 at 4:49 am

    I have a 10 week old. how long before I intervene once I put her down? How long do I give her to fall asleep? I feel like once I put her down she’s awake and can lay there for a while without falling asleep even if she’s not crying or fussing.

    • Allison Egidi on February 19, 2019 at 6:16 am

      I would give her quite a bit of time if she’s not getting upset. Putting themselves to sleep is a learned skill and some babies need some time and space to figure it out. Be sure to practice when she isn’t overtired so you don’t start to feel stressed that she’s been awake too long. If you feel like she’s super drowsy, but then “waking up” when you put her down, try putting her in the crib in more of a relaxed state rather than a drowsy state. That can make it easier for some babies to fall asleep.

  9. Michelle on February 24, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    Within 5 minutes of putting the baby down calm but awake, he starts crying and then it escalates. We tried the pick up put down method, but it takes half an hour just to get him calm again. We’ve also tried leaving him alone to cry, but we intervene after half an hour. With either method, his sleepy window becomes way expired and then we end up missing the nap. It then takes a couple of hours before we can get him sleepy again. Are we expecting to miss naps at the beginning of teaching baby to fall asleep independently? How long should we leave him in the crib alone? Btw our baby is over 4 months old.

    • Allison Egidi on February 27, 2019 at 6:28 am

      Hi Michelle! Obviously I don’t have all the details, but if it takes 30 min to calm him after you pick him up and then potentially a couple of hours to get him to sleep, he’s likely overtired which makes learning to go down awake harder. Starting sooner (shorter wake period) could help. Also since he’s older than 4 months the start time of naps can be really important – you want them to line up with his natural sleep rhythm. I’d need more detail to help with that. If you’re interested in a consultation, shoot me an email 🙂 allison@sleepandwellnesscoach.com. Hang in there – I know how frustrating it is when naps aren’t coming together.

  10. Emily on March 6, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    Hello,

    I have an 8 week old girl and since she was born I ’ve fallen into the bad habit of just letting her sleep on me or her dad throughout the day. At night we’re able to slide her on to the bed (and sometimes) the bassinet. I’ve just started practising putting her down drowsy throughout the day (usually after a feed or rocking her) but when she goes down she either cries immediately or whines for a bit. At this age how long can I leave her (crying) to practise sorting it out herself?

    • Allison Egidi on March 6, 2019 at 3:00 pm

      Hi Emily! Your little lady is at the perfect age to start learning how to go down awake. I wouldn’t recommend leaving her to cry to work through it at this age, but there are tricks to making it easier for her. I’m actually teaching a free online workshop on newborn sleep tomorrow! You can register by clicking here.

  11. Meghan P on March 27, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    I have a 9 week old and want to start drowsy but awake practice. So far he only sleeps on me. Whoopsie. Should I do drowsy but awake it for daytime naps or bedtime or does it matter? Do you have any materials from the free newborn course you mentioned in above comment. Thanks! Practice practice practice!!

    • Allison Egidi on March 27, 2019 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Meghan! Don’t worry – you still have time to teach him how to go down away! I recommend that you start practicing drowsy but awake for the first nap of the day. That’s when they are the most well-rested and it should feel “easier.” I offer the free webinar quarterly – I’ll do it again in early June. If you’re interested, you can learn more about my newborn sleep coaching program here: https://sleepandwellnesscoach.mykajabi.com/HBNS-Enrollment-1

  12. Dovile Zukauskaite on May 12, 2019 at 3:50 am

    Just wanted to say massive Thank you for your explanation what ‘drowsy but awake’ means and when exactly to put our little ones for a nap. I’ve been doing my own reading and research, and came across ‘drowsy but awake’ method a lot but simply wasn’t sure what it meant, when to put my baby girl to sleep, am I doing it right,there wouldn’t be much of information. Luckily came across your website and I am doing everything correct thankfully to you. My baby girl is 7 weeks and we started this drowsy method, it doesn’t work with every nap or every day but as you mentioned, simply need to take one step at a time and be patient with our little ones,show them how it is done and don’t expect them to learn all skills straight away. Thank you again. Continue to practice!

    • Allison Egidi on May 13, 2019 at 7:46 pm

      Hi Dovile! I’m so glad you found the explanation of drowsy but awake helpful! You’re starting to work on this as the perfect age. At this age it’s all about consistent practice, not perfection. Keep up the good work and congrats on your new little one! 🙂

  13. Erica on May 15, 2019 at 12:05 pm

    My baby is only 4 weeks, but only sleeps in our arms for naps, & short stretches in his bassinet at night. I feel I made mistakes for good sleep with my second son, so I want to start early. We have started nap & bedtime routine, but it not every nap, as we have busy lives. How can I help my 4 week old get the practice needed to sleep independently? Is it too early to start?

    • Allison Egidi on May 19, 2019 at 8:39 pm

      Hi Erica! It’s not too early to start. Once they are 6-8 weeks old I strongly recommend working on putting him down drowsy but awake for at least one nap a day. Don’t stress if he doesn’t take to it right away or just takes a short nap. It’s all part of the learning process. My newborn sleep coaching program will be opening for enrollment again during the first week of June. You can join the wait list on this page if that’s of interest: https://sleepandwellnesscoach.mykajabi.com/HBNS-Early-Interest

  14. Shelbi on July 27, 2019 at 2:52 pm

    Apologies if this was already gone over in the comments – I admittedly did not read them all. I have an 8 week old and for the first 6 weeks she slept in her bassinet at night no problem for 2-3 hour stretches. When she hit 6.5 weeks she started fighting the bassinet at night – she was/is mostly held for daytime naps. She will sleep in it for maybe 30 minutes-1 hour at a time and wake up fussing and eventually crying/screaming, except for after the middle of the night feed (somewhere around 12:30-1:30am), when she will sleep 2-2.5 hours in the bassinet without waking. After she wakes we can get her calmed down quickly but she will cry as soon as she is put back down in the bassinet. Previously we would put her down fully asleep and she was fine, but now she will wake up when put down and it takes 3 or more attempts to get her to sleep in the bassinet.

    We just started trying the drowsy, but awake method. We got her to sleep in her bassinet for about 45 minutes during an afternoon nap time – it took about 30 minutes to get her to fall asleep. She then woke up and quickly started fussing/crying. We continued to pick her up and soothe her as necessary and lay her back down when she was calm and sleepy, but she immediately started crying when laid back down. At this stage, how long should we continue trying to put her back down before we just let her finish out her nap being held?

    • Allison Egidi on August 9, 2019 at 11:38 am

      Hi Shelbi! Ugh, I now that’s frustrating when things are going well and then suddenly you start meeting new resistance. So she’s at the PREFECT age to start practicing drowsy but awake. She’s still young so don’t put too much pressure on yourself or her. I like to start with the first nap of the day after a wake period of no more than 1 hour. Once you make some progress with that nap, move on to the second nap. If she’s successful in putting herself to sleep, but wakes after a short period, go ahead and hold her to extend the nap. Just getting herself to sleep is a victory when you’re getting started! You got this 🙂

  15. Maegen on August 13, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    We have been trying to lay our little one down in the drowsy but awake stage for 3-4 weeks and have had no success. He used to sleep 6-8 hours at night when he was 6 weeks old, but ever since he was 8 weeks old (and now 13 weeks) he just fights sleep every time unless we hold him. We have made sure he has an Eat Wake Sleep routine, is only awake 45 min-1.5 hours between each nap (depending on his sleepy cues), and an 8-9pm bedtime. We tried an earlier bedtime but that was a disaster. Every nap, especially at bedtime, he screams whenever we put him down in the relaxed/drowsy state, then it takes 20 min to calm him down again, and this process continues for 2 hours. By then he is overtired (us too!) and we give up and just hold him until he goes to sleep. Then, we put him in his bassinet, he sleeps for an hour or 2 and he wakes up and the process starts over again. Please help!! We are so exhausted and at the end of our sanity!

    • Allison Egidi on August 16, 2019 at 1:26 pm

      Hey Maegen! Here’s the good news, when you put him down asleep he does stay asleep for a good chunk of time – many kiddos won’t do that. So for now, I’d focus on putting him down awake for the first nap of the day after no more than 1 hour of awake time. Truly think about putting him down relaxed and awake rather than drowsy but awake. Go in his room, read him a short board book in dim lighting, sing him a song, and put him in the crib. Stay right there next to him – put your hand on his chest, jiggle him a bit a shush him. See if you can get him to fall asleep like that at first and then start to remove the support. Hang in there – he’ll get it!

  16. Rachel on May 27, 2020 at 9:22 am

    Hi Allison,

    My 4 month old twins are waking up a half hour/40 minutes into their nap. We mind wake times, put them down awake but drowsy. If they wake up early like this, should I let them remain in their crib for the full hour even though they are awake or should I go in and shush, pat, pick up, put down? They don’t tend to go back to sleep because they start babbling back and forth to each other.

    • Allison Egidi on June 2, 2020 at 4:47 pm

      Hi Rachel! With 4 month+ old twins, you may need to take a little more structured approach to lengthening their naps. Finding the ideal nap start times and then working with a crib hour can be very effective.

  17. Dominique on August 6, 2020 at 2:02 pm

    Hi Allison,
    Thanks for the great article and advice. We have an 8-week old who does it like a champion for day naps, but struggles a bit at night. We have implemented a night routine, which I believe helps, but we’re still working on it… Question for you: In the evening, when we put him down awake (or kind of drowsy), he can whine for a good 30-45 minutes before falling asleep. He’s not crying, he’s just complaining. I feel he has to learn to fall asleep by himself, but it breaks my heart! We try to go in every 10-15 minutes to reassure him without taking him back in our arms. Is that right? Are we hurting him?
    Thanks!

    • Allison Egidi on August 7, 2020 at 7:12 am

      Hi there! It sounds like you’re making great progress! You can absolutely give him some time to try to figure out putting himself to sleep at bedtime. I wouldn’t leave him to cry, which you aren’t, but a little complaining definitely won’t hurt him 🙂 You can also play with the bedtime a bit. Would putting him down 15 minutes earlier or later shorten the time it takes him to fall asleep? Sometimes 15-20 minutes can make a big difference. Keep up the good work!

  18. Devon on March 29, 2021 at 4:53 pm

    Hi Allison! Firstly thanks for this great article! I have a 10 week old and we have started drowsy but awake and she does put herself to sleep after awhile but then wakes at 30-40mins. Won’t put herself back to sleep with help so I pick her up to lengthen the nap but then she won’t let me put her down after that (as in she is asleep but wakes the second I put her down). What would you suggest? Also how quickly would you step in to lengthen the nap if she’s awake but just laying there? Thank you!

    • Allison Egidi on March 29, 2021 at 6:59 pm

      Hi Devon! The shorter nap is totally normal at this age after being put down awake. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things – have her put herself to sleep, nap as long as she will, and then help her extend at least two naps so that she has two naps that are 1-2 hours in total sleep. The naps will hopefully start to lengthen over the next few weeks. If she wakes and isn’t upset, leave her be for up to 30 minutes to see if she’ll calmly put herself back to sleep. 🙂

      • Crystal Wall on February 9, 2022 at 9:42 am

        What about pacifiers? I have a 12 week old that sometimes will not relax unless he has a pacifier. We attempted this whole thing at 8 weeks but got RSV and was in the icu, so we’re a little late to trying this.

        • Allison Egidi on February 16, 2022 at 6:57 pm

          Hi Crystal! You can totally use a pacifier as a tool when you’re teaching your baby to fall asleep out of your arms in their crib or bassinet 🙂

  19. Christi on August 22, 2022 at 8:30 am

    i have a 6 week old that only falls asleep in my arms. I’ve tried putting her down drowsy but awake in her crib but she just stays awake . Do i just pick her up to sleep. Do I stay in her room or when i am putting her down so she knows i am there or do I leave?

    • Allison Egidi on August 23, 2022 at 1:30 pm

      Hi Christi! I would recommend you try assisting her to sleep while she’s in the crib by shushing and rocking her a bit with her hand on her chest. You can try staying in the room and trying leaving the room to see which works best for her. Obviously if she gets upset, you’ll pick her up and soothe her. I offer specific weekly support in my newborn sleep program if that’s of interest. You can CLICK HERE to learn more.

  20. Stephanie on December 14, 2022 at 9:59 am

    I have an 8 week old that I am thinking of trying this method. My question is, if he gets upset and I need to soothe or pickup… do I continue this for the length the nap should be? Until the next feed time? I don’t want to get in the habit of feeding ever 1.5 hrs just because he is struggling to fall asleep on his own.

    • Allison Egidi on December 14, 2022 at 10:36 am

      Hi Stephanie! 8 weeks is a great age to start! Try putting him down 3 times and if he’s really upset during all three attempts, go ahead and pull the plug and help him get to sleep so he doesn’t get overtired. Then try again tomorrow 🙂

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